Adoption Column 3

Copyright, Stephens Media

When timing not as planned, patience pays off

 Editor’s note: Mark Buffalo is the sports editor for the Cabot Star-Herald, Carlisle Independent and Lonoke Democrat, which are members of Stephens Media’s Central Arkansas Newspapers. He and his wife, Linda, who is a teacher at Lonoke Middle School, will be adopting a 2-year-old girl from China, who will be named Mary Elisabeth. They are scheduled to travel in the middle of September. This is the third of several columns about this family’s adoption experiences and the process. His e-mail address is mbuffalo@cabotstarherald.com

 By Mark Buffalo

When Linda and I completed our paperwork, we hoped that we would be parents by the end of the 2007. Experiences of other adopting couples indicated that the process wouldn’t take too long.

It turned out that wasn’t going to be our experience.

We stayed in contact with our case worker at America World and were told that timing of our adoption and a possible trip to China still was a ways off. Although disappointed, we continued to be patient, working in our respective careers.

However, as many people know, my mother, Rose Mary Buffalo, was diagnosed with cancer on Aug. 1, 2007. Mom and our entire family were so supportive of our desire to adopt. Mom tried her best to fight the cancer, going through chemotherapy and radiation. It appeared around Christmas 2007 that Mom had beaten the cancer. It was a glorious holiday.

The next couple of months were good for our family, but Linda and I were hoping to hear something about our adoption process. In some respects, time was ticking slowly, but in other ways it was flying by.

In May 2008, we found that Mom’s cancer had spread, but she continued to fight. She wanted more than anything to have her third grandchild. She told me once that “I wish you could hurry up and get your baby.” This broke my heart because we wanted her to be able meet her second namesake. My brother, Jonathan, and his wife have a daughter named Heather Rose, who was named after Mom.

Mom died July 28, 2008, just a few days short of a year after being diagnosed with cancer. She fought a good fight and her legacy will live on with everyone who knew her. And Linda and I will make sure that our daughter will know as much about Mom as humanly possible.

After Mom’s funeral, I went back to work at the paper following a two-week hiatus and Linda had to get ready for the school year. They weren’t easy tasks for either of us. We contacted our case worker at America World to see what we needed to do about renewing paperwork.

We had to reapply for our I-171h before the first one expired. We had to return to Fort Smith to Immigration Services and get fingerprinted again. We also needed our home study updated and Ed Appler took care of that for us. During this time, Linda and I considered the option of adopting a special needs child.

We applied on America World’s Web site to join the special needs program. There was a list of special needs that we would consider or not consider for a child and we filled out the checklist. We prayed about our decision and felt good about it.

Later in 2008 we received a call from America World about a shared referral for a young girl, who was in the special needs program. Linda and I were interested, but since it was a shared referral, the child was available to any family with any adoption company in the world. So, before we could review her paperwork with our physician, we got a call from our case worker saying that the child had been locked in by another family.

We were disappointed but knew that it wasn’t meant to be. Our faith was tested but it was one thing that helped us realize that the child wasn’t the one who was going to be Mary Elisabeth.

Over the next couple of months, we received a few more calls about possible shared referrals, but we didn’t feel like those children would be the ones for us. We felt in our hearts that those children would find a home with someone who could love them as much as we will our own daughter. That is the faith we have.

We continued to wait. We made it through the end of the school year, which signals Linda’s summer vacation and a slowdown in sports coverage for me. We bought a new car because we knew that we both needed reliable transportation for our child, whenever we got her.

Our church, Palm Street Church of Christ, was holding a one-day Vacation Bible School on June 5. And since I’m the “official event photographer” for my pastor’s wife, we attended the VBS. And on that day, our lives would change forever.

Up next: The news we had been awaiting for years.